The term polyester paint refers to the resin used not the type of paint. This is where the paint store was confused. Modified polyester resins typically are lower quality than other resins on the market, making them harder to find. A good cabinet paint that can be sprayed with a HVLP sprayer is either a emulsified oil/acrylic (AKA water-based oil), a standard alkyd paint or a catalyzed polyurethane paint. The catalyzed poly is a type of machinery/heavy equipment paint that is very tough but pricy when compared to other easier to find paints.

For cabinets the main thing to keep in mind is a hard surface, the paint needs to dry and cure hard. This will minimize water damage and scratches.

The primer depends on the paint but you want a sandable primer. If using a HVLP sprayer count on 2-3 coats of primer. The paint is the same coats, more if you want to buff the final coat. Buffing isn't needed if you choose a high gloss sheen and apply enough coats for a even look.